


In My Head

by SamXCas4ever



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Gen, M/M, Please Don't Hate Me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-03-03 11:17:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13340127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamXCas4ever/pseuds/SamXCas4ever
Summary: Dean and Castiel have been best friends for as long as they can remember. Dean realizes that his feelings for Castiel are not typical around 13 years old.  Here is their story. *based from a prompt*





	1. Beginning: Childhood

**Author's Note:**

> Non-cannon and I do not own the characters Eic Kripke does :) First prompt that came from fb I hope you like it!

Cas is my best friend and I love him, Dean thinks as he writes an assignment for class. He did not question these feelings because they made him happy. He loved watching Castiel because he always seemed so intent about what he was doing, even if it was something simple like reciting his ABCs. He watches as Cas doodles pictures of a meadow and different animals in their kindergarten class. He rose from his chair and went over to Castiel, laughing when he saw that his friend was drawing them in the picture playing with Sammy, his little brother. The teacher, Ms. Billie Death, looked up and snapped, "Mr. Winchester, what are you doing bothering Mr. Novak?" He jumped and sent her a long look, almost a glare.  
"He's my best friend, I can sit here," he stated, folding his arms. Castiel watched as Billie glowered at Dean and sighed.  
"He is fine, Ms. Bille. Please leave him alone." He said, holding Dean's hand and making him flush.  
"You and he both are in time out. Go to your separate corners until you decide to behave and stay in your assigned seats."  
Both boys glared at her but did as told, Dean passing him a note on the way to his assigned corner  
It read: I don't like her. She needs to go.  
Castiel sent him a look and smiled. He knew that his friend would do something bad to their teacher but not anything serious. His thoughts proved true when later on that afternoon he noticed that Billie was staring petrified at her desk. He went over towards the desk on the pretense to throw away trash. She was staring at a dead spider and Cas sighed when he heard Dean's snicker. He went to the door and grabbed Dean by the hand, dragging him out of the room.  
"You are mean, Dean," Castiel said as they raced for the bus. Dean let out a war whoop and bopped Cas on the head.  
"She deserved it for separating us," he said simply. "If she had just let us alone I would have just sat down." He pulled out his lunchbox and handed Castiel an apple. "Here. I didn't want it." Castiel took it with a smile.  
"Your mom is awesome," he stated.  
"I know." Dean replied.  
They spent the rest of the bus ride talking about their moms and Sammy, trying to figure out how to convince their parents to let them have a sleepover despite it being the middle of the week. Dean was the mastermind that normally got them what they wanted, but it was Castiel's solemn but sweet nature that made the plan go through. Mary was always trying to get Dean to listen but he was a wild child and only his father could get him to calm down whenever he was not working at the car shop he owned in town.  
When they got home Mary was waiting on the porch steps, Sammy wiggling in her arms. Dean took off, waving and smiling at his mom as Castiel went to his own home across the street. Mary was not smiling when he came to a stop in front of her so he knew immediately he was in trouble.  
"Dean what did you do at school today?" she asked, voice hard but nurturing. He gulped, giving her a winning smile.  
"I may have put a dead bug on Ms. Billie's desk," he admitted, striding past and sitting on the couch.  
"Why?" Mary asked, sitting Sammy in his chair and starting dinner now that Dean was there.  
"She kept me from Cas and I didn't like it," he admitted, watching Looney Toons. Mary smiled to herself, pleased that Dean was attached to Castiel for some unknown reason.  
"Well sitting a bug on her desk is not okay. Please go apologize to her when you go to school tomorrow morning."  
"Okay," he agreed reluctant, leaving his perch to go play with baby Sam. "But she has to put me next to Cas. I love Cas and he needs me."  
"Of course," she agreed, making him a sandwich. "I'm sure that can arranged."  
*******  
The next day Dean went over to the desk and gave Billie a card and letter from Mary. "I'm sorry I was mean, Ms. Death," he mumbled. "I know that I was mean and I have to be good." Billie stared at the card Dean made and smiled wryly before looking at Mary's letter.  
"He is just a little boy who wants to sit next to his best friend. Please forgive his behavior and make an arrangement to sit them beside each other. I am sure the behavior will change for the better if they are beside each other."  
She thought about it, watching the boys interact more with each other than with the others and decided to heed Mary's request. After all what could go wrong?


	2. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean discovers that what he wants from Cas is more than friendship and they introduce another guy, Nick, into their inner circle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eileen is the mother of Castiel in this story only because I did not get to know her well enough in the cannon story line. I do not own these characters at all Eric Kripke does :)

Throughout the years the boys remained close even though Castiel's family moved across town and the boys stopped riding the same bus. Dean threw a big fit about that and it took Mary and Eileen sitting him down and promising weekly sleepovers before he would. Castiel cried to Dean about the move before it happened, feeling that he would stop it, but resigned himself to it in the end because he saw how distressed Dean became. When he heard their mothers promising the sleepovers he felt an overwhelming sense of relief and joy that first week when Dean popped up at his house, bag in hand as a chagrined Mary apologized to Eileen.  
"I don't get it but he was adamant on spending the night tonight."  
"I told you Cas said he wanted me here," Dean told her, exasperated that she could not understand what was important. He peeked around Eileen and grinned at Castiel, his heart full and warm at seeing his friend grinning back at him. Castiel rarely smiled so when he did it was the best part of Dean's day. "Bye, mom." he called, racing around the women and grabbing Castiel's hand. "Let's go! I got the cowboys and horses with me this time!" They ran for Castiel's room, which was partially packed still, not even thinking about the women that were laughing silently behind them.  
"I really don't mind," Eileen said once they were gone. "I'm actually shocked you guys made it until dinner time to come by. Dean doesn't seem like he likes to wait."  
"He's impatient and reckless but he's mine," Mary said proudly.  
"Come on in, I have some tea ready," Eileen said, opening the door wider. The women grinned as they listened to their boys having fun in the other room. "I can't wait until these years are done."  
Mary groaned, 'I'm not! Can you imagine our boys as teenagers?" Eileen's eyes widened in horror and chagrin. "Now I'm scared. Thanks." They laughed, not knowing how ominous the future would be for their two loving sons.

seven years later

Dean grinned when he saw his mom start baking Castiel's cookies. He was excited because Cas had not been coming over for two weeks while away at camp and he was missing his best friend. "Did you order pepperoni pizza too?" he asked, sniping a cookie from her before she could stop him. Mary sent him an indulgent glance and shook her head. "Yes, Dean. It's a staple for you boys that I never understood. Leave it be before I call Eileen and tell her not to let him come over." Dean sent her a smile that brightened the whole room, much the same he had since he was a kid. "Mom, don't be silly. You wouldn't do that to me. I'm a growing boy!" Mary just continued shaking her head as Sam sat the table enjoying a bowl of cereal before his playdate with Garth.  
The doorbell rang and Dean took off, giving out a war whoop when he opened his door for his best friend. When he saw how long Castiel's hair was he felt his heart stutter and he froze, suddenly uncertain because that was different. Castiel saw his hesitance and glared playfully, slugging his arm. "Dean stop being a jerk and hug me I have so much to tell you!" Before Dean could work up the spit in his mouth to respond his best friend hugged him and his heart pounded like it was trying to jump out of his chest. He had yet to tell Castiel about the amazing time they were going to have since he'd invited their friend Nick to the sleepover for once but he could not find the words, and just when they came out Nick was already there and giving them weird looks. Nick was the new kid on the block, down from New York and ready to make friends. He'd clicked with Dean first but Castiel warmed up eventually so he was not shocked or upset per se but when Dean gave him a hug he felt a pang before Nick pushed him away and made his heart stop hammering.  
"Come on, less sissy stuff and more partying!" Nick crowed, then stopped, flushing when Mary came around the corner with the cookies. "Hi Mrs. Winchester, thank you for having me."  
She smiled but it was a reserved one. She noted that Dean was closer to Nick than Cas and felt the other boy's insecurity. She hugged Castiel and gave him his cookie. "Come on boys, pizza's up!" They whooped and inhaled it in record time.  
Later that night as the boys were watching a porno Nick said, "Why are y'all so close? Don't you feel uncomfortable?"  
"NO," Cas and Dean said immediately, grinning sheepishly. They'd had people question their closeness for years but that did not detract from their lives. "We're fine, so just shut up and watch the movie," Dean added, plucking with Castiel's hair. Suddenly Cas leaned over and sniffed him, making him harden.  
"Are you wearing cologne," Castiel asked, shocked. Dean groaned and faced the wall, ignoring his boner and trying to hide it from them at the same time.  
"Maybe...Don't worry about it. Let's shoot some hoops or something." They agreed and started changing. Dean tried not to notice that Castiel's slender body had muscles and he was getting harder. Stop it, he thought, mouth dry. This is Cas you dork! Get a grip! His pep talk did not stop his wayward thoughts however, and he spent the first night of the sleepover trying to keep Cas out of his bed and away from his dick. He knew that if Castiel felt it he would freak out and that would ruin everything. He just prayed that he wouldn't do something stupid like jump the poor guy in the middle of the night.


	3. The Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean starts distancing himself from Castiel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not good with angst unfortunately but I am going to try *blows kisses* I have to say I don't know how long this is going to be I have never written a long fanfic but the prompt was amazing and I can't not do my best ^___^

Castiel woke up before Dean and just sat there watching him, a gentle smile on his face. He'd known from the beginning that Dean would be his best friend, and that hadn't changed. But, unlike Dean, he knew that what he was feeling was more than just friendship. He was starting to wonder if he might be--Just then Dean's alarm buzzed and he rolled over, bumping Castiel. As his eyes opened slowly, the green cloudy from sleep, Castiel felt his heart stutter. Oh yeah. Definitely more than love. Dean saw him staring and his eyes warmed as he brushed a strand of hair from his forehead.   
"Hey, Cas." His voice had a deeper tone than usual and Castiel held in his gasp. Deeper than before and soo much sexier.   
"H-hello, Dean." Dean's eyes sparkled with amusement.   
"Is that any way to greet someone who slept in your bed last night," Dean mocked, then rolled him over and started tustling with him. Castiel's laugh rang out and it woke up Nick. The other boy groaned and rolled over from his cot on the floor and then blinked sleepily at them. When he noticed that Dean was on top of Castiel, their clothes disheveled he woke up fast and gaped.   
"What the hell are you two doing," he demanded. His shout woke up Mary who came running in.  
"What is all of this commotion?" she demanded, hands on her hips. Dean, moved leisurely as he stood up from Castiel, but in his mind he was starting to panic. Could his normal affection for Cas be wrong? Was there something wrong with how they acted together?  
"T-they w-were on top of each other," Nick yelled, drawing more attention so that Sam and John came in too.  
"What is this," John demanded and everyone fell silent. Sam and Dean's dad worked as a mechanic and the burly man hated being woken up before he was ready.   
"Nothing sir," Dean said quietly. "Nick was just shocked because he thought me and Cas were doing something inappropriate."  
"What were you doing," John asked, tone stiff.   
"I just tickled him," Dean admitted. "We're always doing it so I didn't think anything of it." Cas stood by silently feeling guilty and angry. Because of him Dean was about to be scolded and possibly punished. John had never witnessed them being affectionate, and he realized from Mary's stance that she was firmly on Cas and Dean's side even if John wasn't. Cas opened his mouth to intervene but Sam beat him to it, going over to Nick, and glaring.  
"You woke me up over that?" he demanded. "You act like you haven't had a best friend before. You're a dick."  
"Sam!" Mary cried while both Cas and Dean smothered laughs. "You should go home if you can't handle them horsing around." With that apt statement he walked back to his room and slammed his door.  
John glared at Nick as well and said, "You heard my youngest, boy. You can leave. Castiel is family and you aren't. Dean," he said, looking at his oldest. "Next time bring home someone who knows that you two are close, would ya? I don't have time for early morning nonsense."  
"Yes sir."  
John turned to Castiel and winked. "Well, boy? You gonna start making your pancakes?"  
Castiel smiled widely, relieved. "Of course." He slipped past a silent Nick, followed by the adults. That left Dean and Nick alone together for the first time and the glint in Dean's eyes was making Nick nervous.  
"How dare you try to start shit," he hissed. "I don't think you need to come back. You should call your mom and tell her to come."  
"I I just--"  
"Good bye Nick," Dean stated, walking past. "Don't speak to me.  
"It's not natural," Nick muttered. "You two should not be so close. I had a friend that I did that with and ended up getting my ass kicked."  
"What," Dean asked, pale suddenly. "Why?"  
"Because people in New York are assholes. Homophobic assholes."  
"I'm no homo, dude."  
Nick raised an eyebrow. "Really?"  
"Yeah. I like chicks!"  
"Name one you've liked and I'll believe you," Nick said, but he was starting to get the idea that Dean didn't know that he was gay yet and that made him feel sad for him and for Cas.  
"Lisa Brenan was my crush all of last year." Dean said after a moment's thought.  
"Who do you dream about when you jerk off," Nick shot out  
"I don't masturbate," Dean said, though it was a lie because he definitely jerked off last night in the shower. And Cas featured vividly in that day dream. The other boy's lean body always turned Dean on, but he would not be telling his best friend that. Just getting to touch him was a joy that he did not know how to express without sounding like a lovesick fool.  
"I know that look," Nick whispered, "that was how I felt every day me and Benny were together."  
"What happened?"  
"I moved because the bullying got to be too much." Nick looked away, eyes shadowed as he told Dean. "I hated them all for what they did to me. But what they did to Benny? It was worst. So much worst."  
"What--"  
"I can't say," he said, broken. "But if you two have been getting away with it maybe this place is better. But if not then you have a lot of ways to go before--"  
"We're just best friends," Dean stated. "Nothing more."  
"Then I'm sorry. I should not have overreacted." Nick started gathering his things and sent Dean a sad smile. "It was a great sleepover. See you at school." And disappeared from the house.  
Dean went downstairs and tried engaging with his family but couldn't pull his head from his ass long enough to do so. Castiel was the best part of him, he could not bear if the people they considered friends started treating him differently. What could he do? Suddenly he recalled his lie to Nick and he picked up his cell. Lisa was the school head cheerleader and rumored to know how to give a guy a good time. If she couldn't distract him from Cas nobody could.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following Monday Castiel was waiting for Dean at his locked when the other boy strolled over with Lisa on his arm. Cas looked between them and glared. "Since when have you started hanging out with her," he snapped. Lisa, who'd been smiling sweetly at Dean, turned and glared at Cas.  
"He doesn't have to report to you," she snapped. "You aren't his boyfriend or anything!"  
Several students stopped and Dean felt his heart start to pound. Lisa was possessive, everyone knew that, but he also knew that Castiel did not like the attention. He pulled away from her and smiled charmingly. "He is my best friend, babe. Like it or not he's part of this deal. Think you can handle it?" His smooth words brought a naughty smile to Lisa's lips as she pursed them, and Dean sighed in relief. Crisis averted.  
"Yeah I can handle it, baby. Come over after school and I can show you."  
"We have karate after school so he can't," Cas snapped. He jerked Dean around and glared when the other boy avoided his gaze. For the first time Castiel felt rejected. What was Dean thinking?  
"Are you skipping, Dean." he asked coolly. At the tone Dean felt panic kick in again. He knew when Castiel got formal he was going to be a dick.  
"Come on, man, missing one lesson won't kill me." Dean said, ruffling his hair. Castiel watched him, his deep blue eyes seeing under skin as usual.   
"You know that's not true, Dean. But if you'd rather get your jollies off than learn something useful then by all means have at it." he said, smirking. "I'm going to class."  
He started walking away and Dean instinctively pulled him back. "Come on! Don't be a dick, Cas!"  
"I wasn't aware that I was," Castiel said, tone so cold Dean got frostbite. "Release my arm please." Dean let go quickly.  
"It's time for me to socialize elsewhere," Castiel added. "Until you are ready to get yourself right don't talk to me."  
"Don't say that," Dean whispered. "She's nobody okay? Just a chick, okay? You're still my best friend." At his words Castiel smiled, eyes lightening a shade and Dean fell a little more because he had not noticed that little quirk before. Fascinating.   
Lisa grabbed Dean's arm from behind and pulled him away from Castiel. "Let's go, hun. Class is starting and I want to get a good seat in the back." As they parted Dean had the sinking feeling this would be a repeat performance on her end, and he noted that Castiel looked alone in that crowd of people. Utterly alone.


	4. Missing Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel starts taking Dean's advice about their friendship and Dean tries to mend what he's damaged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut, sorry :( BUT!!!!! I will eventually get there! I swear!

Castiel peered around the corner when he heard Dean's rough chuckle, wondering who he was with. Since it's not me it's got to be that bitch, he thought bitterly. Dean and Lisa had been an item for two months and within that time frame, Castiel noted several changes in his best friend. One is he was a total dick. Instead of defending the nerds like he once did he would be one of the ones who laughed as he watched it happen. He never bothered to show up for their karate training and he had to earn the black belt alone, a dream Dean had promised he'd wanted too was now only his achievement. He sighed remembering how upset Bobby was when Dean'd turned in his karategi but refrained from telling him how disappointed he was.   
Someone behind Castiel pushed past him and he stumbled around the corner into Dean. Dean looked up and smiled instinctively at Castiel, "Hey buddy. What are you doing?" Lisa, annoyed to have Dean's attention away from her even for a moment, glared behind his back.  
"Hello, Dean," he replied stiffly. "Just minding my own business. What about you?" He turned to Lisa. "I assume you two are going to The Shack after this?"   
Dean frowned when Castiel kept avoiding his gaze and snarked at Lisa. He'd honestly hoped by then they would have gotten along but that was the last straw.   
"None of your business," Lisa snapped. Dean looked at her and glared back. "I'm sorry but he's my best friend, Lisa. Is it going to be a problem for you?" He looked into her eyes and saw the glare was bone deep. She felt real hatred toward his best friend and the part of Dean he needed to bury so he wouldn't make a fool of himself with him weakened.   
"We're through," he snapped. "I think I'll head to class with Cas..." Lisa's stung expression made him question what he was doing, but not enough to stop. He hated himself for leading her on and using her to avoid Cas.  
"I care about you, but you are going to break my friendship and I can't allow that." He stepped away and grabbed Castiel's hand.  
"We have to talk." Dean led Castiel down the hall through the shocked throng of people. Instead of going to the boy's room, he pulled him into the closest room. It turned out to be the maintenance closet and Castiel felt his blood start to surge at his close proximity and the smells of bleach and dust. "W-why did you pick this room?" he asked nervously.   
"It was closest and we need to make this quick," Dean said, taking Castiel's hand. "I think we need some space."  
"What?" Cas's eyes were wide with fear and pain.  
"It's not your fault," Dean said quietly. "I love you. You're my best friend. But we can't be like we used to be..."  
"Where are you going with this?"  
"We won't be getting together every week anymore. No more texting and calls for the time being." Dean grumbled, looking away.  
"I--I don't understand," Cas repeated. He forced Dean to face him, tilting his chin up. "Why?"  
"I want more from this year and us being so close isn't going to help my popularity," Dean admitted. He sent Cas an apologetic look and moved away. "It's for the best."  
"Whatever," Castiel snapped, reaching for the door. "I'll let you have all of the space you need," he sneered. He opened the door and walked away, his heart in tatters.

Two months passed and Dean got all of the action he could want from any girl he wanted...but his relationship with Castiel was broken. He saw him in the hallways and when he tried to wave to him Castiel would send him a distracted look filled with pain, but he wouldn't respond verbally. Mary noticed that Castiel was missing but said nothing, which Dean appreciated. Sam was a different story. One day he cornered Dean in the living room when he knew nobody would be home and questioned him. "What is going on with you and Cas?"  
"Nothing," Dean snapped as he chewed his bacon cheeseburger. "Why do you think there is something wrong?"  
"Maybe because he hasn't been by since you started dating Lisa except for when he knew she wouldn't be around. And since you two broke up he's more MIA than before. So what the hell is going on?" Dean growled, setting the sandwich back on the plate.  
"I hate to break it to you, but we have different things we want. And I let him know that we can't be as close is all." Dean's voice was nonchalant, but Sam knew his brother and he knew that he was in denial.   
"So does that mean you finally told him you were in love with him and he turned you down," Sam guessed, and Dean choked on his drink.   
"W-what?" he gasped.  
"I said--"  
"I heard you," Dean snapped. "My question is why did you ask me that?"  
"It's just a vibe I got from you two," he said, trying to appear unfazed now that Dean was rattled. His brother avoided emotions like the plague, and to get confronted by his feelings like this would make him more confrontational. Dean glared at him and stood up.  
"I'm not in love with Cas, and I just told you that we're just parting ways. That's all. Can you please not say anything?"  
"Sure," Sam said, but his eyes were piercing through him. He knew what Dean hid inside and he wasn't trying to start anything.   
"I'm going out," Sam said, skirting around Dean to leave the house. "I got a date with the library and I can't be late." Dean shook his head, chuckling.   
But he knew that Sam was right. He missed his best friend and even though he was the one who wanted to stop being as close it still hurt how Castiel went along with it. Annoyed by his own demands he pulled out his cell to call Castiel. It rang three times before the other boy answered, voice breathless.  
"Hello?"  
"U-um. Hey..."  
"Hey."  
"What are you doing today?" Dean asked, flipping through channels.  
"Minding my own business and letting you mind yours," Castiel replied.  
"Don't be that way," Dean pleaded.  
"There's no other way to be," Castiel said coolly. "You wanted to be alone, and I'm giving you that. Just do me the same courtesy." He hung up. Dean gaped at the phone, shocked that Castiel hung up on him so coldly. Shame washed over him because Castiel was the sweetest person he'd ever known and for him to do something as rude as hanging up on him he'd really hurt him. He tried calling him again and was ignored. He slung the phone across the room, furious and panicked. He needed Castiel in his life even if it was a small part of his life. What was he going to do?

The next day Dean was waiting for Castiel by his locker, ankles crossed as he fiddled with his nails. Just as he was about to give up on waiting Castiel rounded the corner with a redhead on his arm. Castiel froze when he saw Dean leaning against his locker, making the other person stop with him. Dean came forward, his eyes locked on the new girl. "Who is this," he asked, voice curious but eyes deadly. He did not like this girl. She was beautiful with slender cheekbones, rocking a side bag with a Star Trek icon on the side. She reached Castiel's shoulder and beamed at him as he stood there.  
"Hey, the name's Charlie. Nice to meet ya," she added as Castiel stood there moot.  
"I'm Dean," he said, shaking her hand. "Are you and Cas here friends?"  
"You could say that," she said, sending Castiel a sly glance that he ignored in favor of looking at his cell. "He's giving me the tour of the building and I'm trying to get him to take me out later. It's all up in the air of course. He was just about to tell me about this dick that hurt his--"  
"Charlie, enough," Castiel snapped, putting away the phone. "It's not important, okay? Drop it." She nodded, not the least bit hurt by his abrupt answer. She sensed that Dean was the guy her new friend was hung up on, and she would only make him squirm if Castiel allowed it.   
"Alright, well I guess I'll let you two talk," she said, skipping to the next class without waiting for a reply. The tension between them was thick enough to cut the air like butter and Dean hated the look in Castiel's eyes.  
"I never meant to hurt you," he said without preamble.  
"I'm not hurt," Castiel lied. "I'm pissed. You dumped Lisa and then you tell me that you want to stop being as close. I've kept my end of the bargain, but you keep getting in my way."  
"I'm sorry." Dean repeated, taking Castiel's hand. "Please believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt you."  
"Whatever," Castiel said, pulling free. "The point is you're getting what you wanted, and so am I. We're not joined at the hip now, just like you wanted. If you want to be just friends that's fine. Clearly there is nobody knocking down my door for my attention so it's cool."  
"Cas--"  
"Stop calling me that," Castiel said firmly.  
"I just--" Dean began just as the bell rang. Castiel looked up, eyes shadowed into a dark midnight blue.   
"It's just what?"  
"I miss you," Dean blurted, no longer caring about his rep. "I miss you and we can still be friends. Best friends damn it because there are so many people who want to be with me, but you're the only one I've felt was a part of me. Don't let my assholery get in the way of that."   
Castiel looked into his eyes and saw his sincerity, but he remembered how Dean let him down and couldn't let it pass.  
"I forgive you, but we aren't best friends, Dean. Not now. I am taking Charlie out on a date. I'm doing what you suggested and experiencing high school. You should be proud."  
"Not if you're going to be snarky and ignore me at the same time," Dean snapped, annoyed. Why wasn't Castiel jumping at the chance to renew their friendship?  
"I'll lose the snark," Castiel replied, stepping back. Being so close to Dean was making him soften faster than he'd realized, and he needed to hang on to that hurt in order to survive this conversation.  
"Please give me another chance," Dean said, invading his space as he used to because he considered Castiel's space his own, and no matter what he would at least build their friendship back to a point where they could be decent towards each other.   
Castiel thought about telling him to just fuck off but the teacher peeked her head out the door and motioned them forward. "You two get in here now or I will write you up." They said in unison, "Yes, ma'am." They headed towards the class, each lost in their own heads as they sat down from each other. What did the future have in store for them now?


	5. Finding Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean starts trying to rebuild his friendship with Cas and Cas decides to turn the tables on him.

The next morning Dean called Castiel early so they could ride to school together. Castiel answered on the third ring, tone neutral as he said, "Hello Dean." Dean's heart stumbled because the tone meant that Castiel was hiding what he was feeling. He'd seen him do it often enough to others and he hated himself for being another person that had let him down. "Hey, Cas--" "Castiel." "Castiel," Dean corrected, cursing inwardly. "Just wanted to wake you up and pick you up for school. You down?" "Dean we don't drive," Castiel pointed out. "Well, we can get Mom to take us. You know she wants to see you." Castiel was silent for a moment before sighing. "Alright. I'll be over there shortly. I can get mom to bring me by." "Thanks, man," Dean said, grateful. Castiel made a noncommittal noise and hung up, but not before Dean heard a feminine giggle in the background. Who the hell was that in the background?! Pissed and jealous Dean rushed getting dressed, bellowing for Mary to hurry so they could get Castiel for school. His mind kept replaying the giggle in his head, and his heart ached. Could Castiel have---He shook his head. No. His best friend would not have done that. Not with anyone. Not without him...  
Castiel sent Charlie an evil glare as he pulled his shirt on. "Are you happy? Dean heard you." Charlie waved her hand at him and kept talking to her girlfriend, Dorothy. Castiel shook his head as he heard Charlie's side of the conversation and wondered how the girl made such amazing grades when she was the biggest flirt at their school next to Dean. After he was done getting dressed Charlie hung up her phone and spoke.  
"Well, he needs to realize that you have options, Cas. If you don't take the opportunity to make him squirm then I will think less of you."  
Castiel rolled his eyes. "How do you suggest I do that?"  
"Well, if you want we could pretend to go out."  
Castiel choked, "What? No way!" Charlie gave him an offended stare. "What? I'm hot! And a nerd which is like two pluses for my side."  
"Except you like girls and I'm only interested in Dean."  
"Well, about that...You have to let that go." "Why?" Castiel asked even though he knew the answer. "He's a horndog obviously! And no matter how cute his misery is he knows he has you. Until you start acting like you have better things to do he's going to keep taking advantage. Do you want that?"  
"No," Castiel muttered, "but I don't see what choice I have. I-I love him, Charlie. I love him a lot. And watching him with those skanks hurt me more than I'm willing to admit."  
"Then it's payback time," Charlie stated calmly. "You can use me as a decoy. D won't mind. And we will make Dean Winchester regret the day he hurt you."  
"He was the last person I'd expect to do that to me," Castiel whispered. "We've been through so much, ya know? And to have him stomp on me like that? I can't see how he could have done it."  
"Hormones," Charlie stated, blunt. "It's got us all in a tizzy for no reason sometimes. Just give it time to work and see what happens. Either he'll find a way to get you alone and fuck your brains out or he'll stick to the best friend role yall got going on." He blinked at her, shocked. "Wh-what?"  
"Don't act like you don't know that Dean wants your ass," Charlie stated. Castiel's blink stare made her gape. "Um..Dude. Seriously? He stares at you like all the time. Whenever we're together he glares like he might punch me in the face or kill me and bury my body in a hole in the woods."  
"No he doesn't," Castiel denied although he had noticed Dean did get aggressive whenever she was around.  
"I'm right and you know it. If you tell him you want him he'll be all over you in seconds. But since we're getting you to play hard to get that isn't going to be productive." Charlie whipped out her laptop and started Googling tips on how to frustrate someone you want to date you. Castiel bent to look over her shoulder and they laughed at some of the things they saw. Just then a knock came at the door and Dean burst in, startling both of them. Castiel and Charlie exchanged guilty glances and shut the laptop fast. Dean saw red.  
"What cha watchin'?" he asked, tone playful. Castiel groaned mentally. That was definitely Dean's I'm gonna fuck shit up voice.  
"Nothin, just some Youtube vids. Nothin major," Castiel replied, flipant.  
"You ready to go," Dean asked, glaring at Charlie who was sitting on Castiel's bed. She stood leisurely and went to Castiel.  
"Yup, we're ready," she said, smiling as she kissed Castiel's cheek. With his back turned Dean did not see the instinctive wince or distaste in Castiel's eyes, which was Charlie's intent. "Come on, baby," she said, feeling the waves of fury rolling from Dean in waves. "We don't want to be late."


	6. Ride to school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late adds you guys. I have to keep my balance better. As a reward for patience I'll add another chapter later this week and hopefully it'll be angsty enough for you all. Enjoy!

Dean growled under his breath as Charlie snuggled closer to Cas. How dare that slut hang all over him?! Cas was his and he'd be damned if he left him alone now that they were talking. He opened the door for Charlie because his mom expected it, but he made it clear he didn't want to by glaring the whole time.   
Mary saw the glare and inwardly sighed. So it was true: Dean was crushing on Cas. She mentally cursed Eileen for giving birth to such a beautiful boy and spoke. "Cas how come you didn't come this weekend? Wasn't it your turn to stay over? I had pizza ordered and everything. " Castiel gulped, not expecting the question so soon. "Well, Dean didn't want me over so I had Charlie over instead. " Mary gave Dean a disappointed glance and he looked away, ashamed. "I'm sorry my bonehead hurt your feelings, Cas. Will you be over next weekend? "   
Cas took a deep breath and prayed for forgiveness for what he was about to say. "I have plans with Charlie that weekend, Mary. I hope you don't mind. " Charlie smirked as she noticed Dean's hand clench but she did feel bad for the subterfuge. If possible Cas turned redder than when Charlie kissed him. "You don't mind sharing do you?" Charlie asked. Yes, bitch, I mind. Instead Dean just shook his head. "I don't mind. It would have been nice to get a heads up is all. Cas can have friends outside of me." intrigued by the obvious lie being told Mary made a face but said nothing. The rest of the ride was uneventful, but at the school Dean couldn't control himself anymore. He jumped out, reached back in to pull Cas out and told Mary bye without a backward glance. He ignored all calls until he reached the men's room and had checked to see if the coast was clear. When he noted nobody was there he pinned Cas with a dark glare. "what are you doing with Charlie? And you better tell me the truth or I'm going to be mad. "


	7. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the week add didn't happen and for that I am sorry but I did get to add today finally!!! Comment please :) Let me know what I am doing wrong or right lol

Castiel blinked, astonished that Dean was really asking that question of him. He glared, his blood boiling as his eyes darkened into a midnight blue. "She's more of a friend than you are. And I happen to like her," he added after he saw Dean starting to hope it was nothing. He made an instant decision that making Dean happy made him miserable now and he was tired of being used. Dean released him and started pacing away from him.  
"Why do you care," Cas asked, breath held in hope.  
"I-I just wanted to know why you were all over each other. I did not think you were into chicks," Dean stuttered. Cas gaped.   
"What made you think that?"  
"Because you're always cuddled with me somewhere and did not want anything to do with the other chicks that have hit on you in the past," Dean stated, embarrassment diminishing as Castiel's face brightened a deeper red.  
"Well, I do," Castiel snapped. "What we have is new and I won't have you jeopardizing that with your jealousy. If you can't handle seeing us together then you need to leave me alone now."  
"I'm not leaving you alone," Dean muttered. "I was just scared and--"  
"Scared of what?" Cas asked, heart jumping at the panic in Dean's eyes.  
"No-nothing. Just don't ask, okay? Clearly it was irrelevant anyway," Dean said, ashamed about how he manhandled Castiel and then expected a different answer than the one he'd been given.  
Castiel stepped forward and stopped his pacing, taking a hold of his shoulders and looking him in his eyes. "I am still your friend, Dean. Just because you don't trust me--"  
"I trust you," Dean snapped. "But I don't trust the kids in this school to understand."  
"Understand what?"  
"Our friendship," Dean stammered, backing away from Castiel as his body started reacting to his touch. "I hated Nick freaking out about us tickling each other and I don't think I should make it worse for you if you do start liking girls. That was the real reason why I tried distancing myself, Cas. I mean why else would I have to? We've been together since our diaper days."  
Castiel could hear partial truth in what he was saying but there was more and Dean not telling him made him angry but not enough to stop reaching for the olive branch he was giving him.  
"I think they are used to us, and Nick was a dick for making you doubt this." He stepped forward again, ignoring Dean's stiffness, and brought him into a hug. His heart relaxed when Dean did and he nuzzled his throat. "Whatever happens after high school has yet to be seen, but I know that I want us to stay friends. Can we do that without you freaking out by other people misunderstanding?"  
"Yeah," Dean said, relaxed in his hold. "I like how you hold me and I like being able to hug you without there being more to it. Can we keep going like that?"  
Cas froze again, heart still and dead. "Um sure. As long as you know there will be some boundaries. I mean I don't want Charlie getting the wrong idea."   
Dean sighed "Sure whatever. Come on," he added when the warning bell rang. Castiel nodded and raced behind him, both happy and sad at the same time. He had his friend but he was settling for just friendship. What would their future hold now?


	8. Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean awaits Cas and Charlie's arrival and wonders if he can stomach seeing them lovey dovey all night while Charlie tries to up the ante and get Dean to admit he loves Cas.

Dean waited anxiously for Castiel after school, appearing normal by leaning back in the car. Mary kept up steady conversation but Dean wanted her to stay quiet so he could go over the conversation he had with Castiel earlier. His friend- not best friend- was coming over for the first time since the Nick fiasco. He wanted to run off and make sure his room was straight. Should he? Mary would get a kick out of it and he'd be easier about Castiel seeing his room. Dean opened his mouth to speak when he saw his ex best friend come out --with Charlie.  
"Baby if you don't want to include her then don't" Mary stated, heart aching for Dean's inner turmoil. "Can Cas tell her no?" she asked.  
"Doubt it. It's cool though. He has to forgive me one day. " Just then they stopped and started talking and from the looks of it they were not in agreement.  
"We are not making out in front of Dean" Cas stated. "I feel bad about this subterfuge as is and that is only from kissing once and us holdin hands. If we do that it'll ruin us. "  
"Cas, dude, you have to pit your will against his. Hermione Granger was no wimp and went after what she wanted. Are you less than her?"  
"No," he replied, "but this will hurt Dean and I won't do that. " He started down the stairs and turned back last second to see her disappointed face. "I hate you, " he said before holding out his hand. She grinned and raced to him, hugging him right there for all to see and Cas could tell Dean was unhappy by the time he approached the car.  
"She's not coming, " he blurted, shocking both Dean and Charlie. Mary smiled warmly at him and he was grateful he stuck that out. "Babe, I'll be by tomorrow but this is Dean and me time. Please understand. " Charlie sighed but on the inside she grinned. She was concerned he was going to stick to her staying over and she really wanted to see Dorothy.  
"OK. Smell ya later, " she said, waving as she left.  
"You didn't have to do that, " Dean said. "I've ditched you more than once over a chick. "  
"Don't remind me," Cas growled. "Thanks for having me, ma'am. "  
Mary scoffed, "Cas don't make me beat you. Your my other son and you know it. Now I don't know what's going on but you two are bound to make up. Just try okay?" They nodded then watched the scenery pass by without a word.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
John was home when they got there and seemed to be in a bad mood. When he heard the car he went to the door, mouth open to yell when he saw Castiel. He clamped his mouth shut and beamed. "About time you got here, boy. I thought I got this pizza for nothing. " Castiel smiled. "Hello sir. I--" John ignored his stutter then pulled him in for a hug. "You better do right by my boy or I'm kicking your butt, understand?" Castiel wormed his way from his arms and grinned, "Of course. "  
Dean groaned. "Next it'll be Sammy treating you like the prodigal son. Let's just go to my room. " he ignored his family and headed upstairs, ears red. Castiel loved when he could get under Dean's skin enough to get a blush. This would be fun.  
They played games late into the night, getting back into their rhythm slowly. When it came time for bed both froze. Normally they shared but this wasn't normal circumstances.  
"want to use a sleeping bag?" Dean asked, looking away. Cas groaned, "I'll sleep with you on your bed if that is alright. I hate that thing!" Dean grinned and started gathering his sleeping stuff. "Great. Race ya!" he took off with Castiel in hot pursuit.


End file.
